Hot Commodity: The Edward & Bella Diaries
by blueeyedcherry
Summary: Was Edward always so arrogant? Where does Bella get her penchant for snark and sass? Find out here by reading excerpts from their college journals! *AH, language, OOC*
1. Chapter 1: Bella, Vol 1  Sophomore Year

**A/N: **This is my Christmas gift/thank you to everyone for getting Hot Commodity up to over 200 reviews. :)

This is the first of eight outtakes I'll be releasing. There will be four outtakes for Edward and four for Bella, covering their sophomore, junior, and senior years in college, and the period from college graduation to present day in the story.

I wanted everyone to have a little back story on each of them, in hopes that this would better explain their behaviors and ways of doing things in the present day. You'll also get a glimpse of the rest of the characters as well!

Edward's first outtake is done, however, it will not be posted until after January 1 because I donated it to the Fandom 4 Texas compilation. :)

Chloe Masen - You're amazing! Thank you a million more times for all your beta expertise and help with everything! *MUAH*

Reviews = love, so please don't hesitate to leave them!

Enjoy!

- N.

Characters belong to SM. Everything else belongs to me.

**HOT COMMODITY: THE BELLA DIARIES – VOLUME 1, SOPHOMORE YEAR**

**September 23, 2001 - Sunday**

_Holy shit is it good to be back in Cambridge! Don't get me wrong, I miss the summer and I'd give anything to have a few more weeks without deadlines and due dates and the other pressures that come with college life, but I don't miss Forks one bit. _

_The school year is off to a good start, especially now that Alice, Rose, and I have a place together. The move itself was quite the fiasco, but now that it's over and done with, it was worth every minute…_

I dropped the last moving box on the hard wood floor and collapsed on my bare mattress. Rosalie appeared in the doorway looking flustered. Her brown hair was a tangled mess and chunks of it stuck to her sweaty forehead. She crossed the room and flopped down next to me, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Remind me again why we didn't hire movers?"

I heaved a sigh, wondering the same thing internally. "Because your parents already forked over too much for this apartment and I refuse to take any more of their money?"

Rosalie waved her hand dismissively. "It's not like they have anything else to spend it on. Bree and I both have scholarships." Bree was Rose's older sister. She was studying law at Yale.

"Point taken. Next time we'll hire movers." I heard the front door open and close and a minute later Alice came bounding in the room.

"What are you two doing?" She put her hands on her hips and frowned down at Rose and me. "Eric and Jane are going to be here any minute and we've got an entire apartment to unpack!"

I groaned and sat up. "We _just_ got done moving all this stuff, Al. Can't we have an afternoon to drink beer and relax and deal with the unpacking tomorrow?"

"Absolutely not!" Alice was tapping her foot like an impatient child. "I know you two well enough to know that these boxes will still be sitting here when classes start if we don't tackle them right now."

"Knock, knock!" Eric's voice rang through the apartment. I rolled my eyes and looked over at Rose.

"I guess that's our cue to get moving." She sighed and we both stood up, following Alice into the living room.

"You guys are a hot mess!" Jane looked Rose and I up and down and chuckled. "Mark it on the calendar, ladies and gent, Rosalie Smith isn't wearing any makeup!" Rose swatted Jane's butt playfully and pulled a toolbox to the center of the room.

"What's first? Me and all my manliness are yours for the afternoon and evening!" Eric flexed his non-existent muscles playfully. Alice and I shook our heads in amusement while Rosalie rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Perhaps you could put these bookcases together? I think that's the only furniture we have that needs to be assembled." Rosalie pointed to a stack of cardboard IKEA boxes leaning against the far wall. Eric muttered something inaudible under his breath and trudged across the room. "No whining, Yorkie, you volunteered to come over here and help."

"'More like I dragged him kicking and screaming," Jane held up a few plastic Target bags and addressed Alice. "All the cleaning supplies you asked for are in here, along with a few of those delicious scented candles we had in our dorm last year."

Alice gave Jane a hug and took the bag from her. "Thank you sweetie. How much do I owe you?" Jane shrugged and smiled at the three of us.

"Consider it part of your housewarming gift."

"I don't mean to break up social hour, but I could use some help over here." Eric rocked back on his heels and looked up at us expectantly. "I don't want to split the wood and I'm going to if someone doesn't hold these boards while I drill."

That signaled the end of our chat time. Alice set out to help Eric while Jane began unpacking different boxes for the living room and dining room. Rosalie and I turned our attention to the kitchen and bathroom areas. Four hours later we'd managed to get the majority of our stuff unpacked and put away, leaving us with a big mess of empty boxes and packing paper.

"We'll deal with this later," Alice pointed to all the rubble in the middle of our living room. "I vote we go to Moe's."

"Yes!" Rosalie turned to me and gave me a high five. Moe's was our favorite campus bar. The crowd was a mixture of students and locals, the live music was always good, and the drinks were cheap.

"Meet there in an hour?" Jane draped her purse over her shoulder and headed for the door. Eric followed behind her with a scowl on his face.

"Cheer up, Eric! If you play your cards right one of us can probably help you get laid tonight!" Rosalie punched his arm jokingly and ruffled his dark hair. Eric tried to look offended, but he broke down smiling.

"I'll see you guys at Moe's." He closed the door behind him, leaving Alice, Rose, and me alone in our new space.

"I'll call my dad, I'm sure he can have all this trash hauled out for us." Rose pulled a beer out of the fridge and popped the top off. She chugged the entire thing in two big gulps, belched, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Nice, Rose. That's really attractive." Alice clicked her tongue in disgust.

I wandered to my room in search of a towel. I'd have to locate my sheets at some point in time, but it wasn't a top priority at the moment. I took a quick shower and put some curl enhancing products in my hair. I couldn't find my makeup bag so I decided to go au natural, slipping into a pair of flared jeans and a tight maroon t-shirt with "HARVARD" written across the front.

"What are you wearing?" Alice scolded me when I walked into the kitchen.

Rose handed me a beer and I took a big swig. "Half my clothing is in boxes and the rest is stuffed in the backseat of my car." I took another sip of beer and bent down to lace up my Converse sneakers. "I'm not trying to impress anyone tonight, Alice, not even you."

"I'll let it slide this time, Swan, but rest assured you will be beautified the next time we decide to go out." Alice grabbed her purse and keys from the kitchen counter. "Let's go, ladies. I'll drive."

I looked at Rose and rolled my eyes. Alice was in one of her moods tonight, and I wasn't sure I could handle it - especially after all the work we'd done today. She squeezed my hand and tugged me out the door.

"We'll find some reason to dip out early," Rose whispered in my ear. I slid into the backseat of Alice's Volvo and pulled out a cigarette. Alice cranked up the radio and we sang along to Ricky Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" on our way to the bar.

"Bella Swan, get that sexy little ass over here and do a shot with me!" Seth Anderson grabbed me around the waist and picked me up, spinning me around in a circle and slapping my butt before putting me down. I punched his shoulder and laughed.

"It's good to see you too!" I'd met Seth midway through our freshman year. He was best friends with Rosalie's man of the moment, Royce, and we'd hit it off right away, developing an easygoing friendship that came with lots of playful banter and laughter. When Rose and Royce ended things last week, I was afraid that my friendship with Seth might suffer as a result. Seeing him tonight proved me wrong; his smile was wide, his blue eyes twinkled with excitement, and he seemed genuinely happy to see me.

Seth pulled out the bar stool next to him and patted it. "Sit down, Swan, we've got some catching up to do! I hear you're living with these two crazy women now." He pointed at Rose and Alice with his thumb and smirked. "By the way, it's nice to see you two as well. I trust you all had a good summer?"

"Perhaps you should ask _Royce_ how our summer went." Rose's voice dripped with sarcasm. Seth held his hands in the air and shrugged.

"I knew you guys broke up, but beyond that, he and I hardly talked after May." Seth turned back to me and grinned. "I was foolish like you and decided to spend the summer back home. Worst. Decision. Ever."

"Hey guys, we got a table by the dart boards!" Eric waved at us from the other side of the bar. Rose and Alice looked at me expectantly.

"You guys go and I'll be over in a few minutes." Rose broke out in a wicked grin and whispered something to Alice, who started giggling and winked at me.

"Bottoms up, Swan! I hope you're prepared for this." Seth handed me a shot glass filled with dark colored liquid. I sniffed it and immediately knew it was Jagermeister. I clanked my shot against his and lifted it to my lips.

"To sophomore year," I said before I tipped the shot back and swallowed it. The alcohol stung my throat and the taste made me want to puke, but I held the liquor down and slid the empty glass across the bar.

Seth squeezed my shoulder and grinned at me. "Just like old times, Swan. You're the only girl I know who can drink a fully grown man under the table."

"One of the many talents I perfected in Forks." I ran my hands through his shaggy blonde hair, tousling it and grinning back at him. "Are you staying on campus this year or did you get a place?"

Seth ordered two more shots and a beer for each of us. "Well, Royce and I were going to get a place, but that plan fell apart, so Paul and I got a place instead. We're renting a duplex in Somerville."

"Wow, that's so awesome! You'll have to have me and the girls over to see it sometime." We took our second round of shots and started in on the beers. I told Seth about my summer, leaving out the parts about sitting home bored out of my mind most of the days. Seth told me about Madison, and I guessed he was leaving some details out as well.

I didn't know if it was the effects of the liquor, but something about Seth seemed different. Summer had worked its magic on him, leaving him tanned, more buff, and looking better than ever. As the night went on, I shared more and more about myself with him. He'd always been easygoing, but it seemed like the dynamic of our friendship was changing, and instead of sticking to our usual banter, we were discussing serious subjects, like his summer breakup and my continuous fight with my parents over moving to the East coast.

Closing time rolled around in what seemed like a matter of minutes and Rose came to collect me.

"Thanks for hogging our girl all night, Seth." She punched his arm playfully and grabbed my hand in an effort to steady me. "Our first night with all of the gang back in town and Bella is stuck to you like glue. I hope this isn't a preview of what the school year is going to be like!"

Seth smiled and kissed my cheek. "Anytime you're in the market for a kidnapping, let me know." His breath tickled my ear and I giggled.

"Goodnight Seffy!" It probably wasn't a good idea for him to share his childhood nickname with me when I was sauced.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Goodnight Jelly Bellie." I cringed as he fired my own childhood nickname back at me.

"Jelly Bellie?" Rose eyed me suspiciously as we walked to Alice's car. "Care to share?"

I shook my head and fell into the backseat. "There's nothing to share, my dear Rose. We just got caught up, that's all."

"Caught up?" Alice piped in. "Bella, you were in deep conversation with him for four hours! I don't even think you got up to pee in the time that we were there!"

I smiled to myself and closed my eyes, resting my head against the seat. I could hear Rose turn around, and I squinted one eye open.

"You have the hots for Seth!" Rose pointed at me accusingly. Alice clapped her hands in excitement.

"I don't have the hots for Seth, you're crazy." I closed my eye again and tried to drown out the noise around me.

"We're your best friends Bell, you can't hide this stuff from us." Alice pulled the car into a parking spot outside our complex and cut the engine. "Besides, there's nothing wrong with liking him. He's a nice guy and you two are totally cute together."

I stumbled out of Alice's car and lit a cigarette. "There is nothing going on with Seth," I insisted. "We're just good friends."

"Whatever you say." Rose shrugged and followed Alice inside. I stood on the steps of the building and finished my cigarette in silence.

My mind was spinning from the Jagermeister and events of the evening. As I butted my cigarette, Alice and Rose's words played over in my head.

I couldn't possibly _like_ Seth … Could I?

_As it turns out, I do like Seth … A lot._

_In __the __three __weeks __since __we __moved __in, __I__'__ve __talked __to __him __almost __every __day. __We __text, __hit __each __other __up __on __Facebook, __and __I __see __him __on __campus __pretty __regularly. __He__'__s __visited __our __apartment __a __few __times __for __game __night __and __movie __night __(yes, __we__'__re _those _kind __of __roommates) __and __we__'__ve __gone __to __Moe__'__s __once __or __twice __as __well._

_I don't know how he feels about me, but I get the sense that things are more platonic in his eyes. I've never said anything to him about how I feel, I'm way too afraid of damaging our friendship to ever dream of doing something like that. I would be lying if I said I hadn't imagined what being with him would be like though. _

_Bella Anderson … That kinda has a nice ring to it, right? _

_Oh __God. __I __better __go __before __I __turn __into __one __of _those _girls._

* * *

><p><strong>December 30, 2001 – Sunday<strong>

_The holidays are here, which means we all get a much needed, well-deserved break from our studies. Sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing at an Ivy League school. The workload is ridiculous, the classes are all advanced, and the expectations are so much higher than they would be at, say, some state school like U-Dub. Then I think about how good this will look on a resume in the future and I remember how proud and accomplished I felt the day I got my acceptance letter, and everything falls back into place. _

_I had a blow-out fight with my dad two weeks ago, which led to me having my ticket home refunded and protesting the Swan family Christmas celebration. Alice and Rose both invited me to spend the holidays with their families in New York City, but I ended up spending them somewhere I never imagined I would…_

"Bella, enough with the moping already!" Alice sat across from me at our kitchen table and poked at her oatmeal. "Christmas is in four days, Rose and I both gave you places to go, why are you sitting here looking like someone just killed your cat?"

I pushed my cereal around with the spoon and sighed. "I just can't believe my dad hasn't called and apologized for the things he said on the phone." I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat as I remembered his uncharacteristically hurtful words. He'd made me so upset that I'd cussed him out and hung up on him. I _never_ swore at my dad, and I certainly never had the audacity to hang up on him. I texted my mom later in the day to tell her I wasn't coming home for Christmas and didn't get a reply.

I was trying very hard to see the entire situation as a sign that I was meant to do something bigger and better for the holidays. I couldn't help but feel somewhat pessimistic about everything though.

"Once Christmas rolls around and your parents wake up to an empty house for the first time in twenty years, they'll realize how shitty they've been and they'll both be calling and begging you for forgiveness." Alice finished her breakfast and set her bowl in the sink. "In the meantime, you need to decide if you're going to come home with Rose and I or not. We're heading back tomorrow and it would be nice to have a general idea of what is going on."

I dropped my head in my hands and heaved a sigh. "I know, I know. I'll let you both know by tonight what my plans are. I might just stick around here and enjoy a week of peace and quiet."

"It's Christmas, Bella." Alice hugged me from behind and put her chin on the top of my head. "Nobody should be alone for Christmas."

A faint smile danced on my lips. "I'd be alone by choice, Alice, not circumstance. There's a difference." She pushed herself off of me and took her coat from the hall closet.

"Choice or not, _I_won't let you be alone for Christmas. Now, I have some last minute shopping to take care of, but I should be back around five. That gives you seven hours to decide what you're doing and report back to me."

I gave Alice a fake salute. "Aye aye captain." She rolled her eyes and waltzed out the front door. I picked up my cell phone and typed a text message to Seth:

**When r u leaving for Wisconsin? – B. **

Seconds later he messaged me back:

**2morrow morning. R u in Seattle already? **

I hadn't yet told him about the fight with my parents. A part of me hoped he would invite me to go to Wisconsin with him, which I knew was an absurd idea, and therefore I decided to keep everything under wraps. Now it seemed silly that I hadn't told him. I quickly composed my response:

**Change of plans. Not going to Seattle. Thinking of spending Xmas in Beantown by myself. – B. **

Moments later my phone started to ring, just like I thought it would.

"There's no way I'm letting you spend Christmas alone." I giggled. Seth sounded just like Alice. "What's so funny?"

"That's the same thing Alice told me before she left to go shopping." I stood up and looked out our living room window. A light snow was falling, coating the trees and buildings in white.

"How come you aren't going to Manhattan with her?"

I filled the teakettle with water and put it on the stove. "Honestly, the idea of spending Christmas in the city like that makes me ill. It feels too impersonal, if that makes any sense?" I put a bag of my favorite Celestial Seasonings True Blueberry tea in a mug and waited for the water to boil. "I know I'd be with their families and whatnot, but I think it would be too much."

"Come to Wisconsin with me."

"Excuse me?" There was no way I heard him right.

"Come to Wisconsin with me," he repeated. I pulled the whistling teakettle off the burner and leaned against the counter.

"Seriously? Your family would be cool with that?"

He chuckled. "Of course they would be. They've heard so much about you it would probably be nice for them to have a face to put to the name."

I was standing in the kitchen, drinking my blueberry tea, and blushing profusely. "I don't know Seth, I don't want to impose on them. And you're staying there for a few weeks, aren't you? I'd like to be back in Boston for New Years."

"Stop." If I knew Seth, he was holding his hand up right now, despite the fact that I was across town in a completely different apartment. "I won't take no for an answer. I'll take care of your ticket and make sure you're back before the thirty first. You just worry about getting yourself packed. It would be easier for you to spend the night here since we have to leave so early tomorrow, so why don't I pick you up at eight?"

I thought about protesting, but I knew it was no use. Seth was stubborn if anything and besides, wasn't this what I'd wanted – a chance to spend my break with the guy I liked in his hometown? "Okay, sounds good."

"Yes!" His excited shout was met with the sound of breaking glass in the background. "Shit, I gotta go. I'll see you tonight."

I stared at my phone in stunned silence. I was going to Wisconsin with Seth.

I was going to Wisconsin with Seth and I needed to pack.

I grabbed a magnetic notepad off the fridge and started making a list of things I'd need for the trip. I rummaged through the bathroom closet, marking off the items I already had, and bundled up to go to the store.

By three o'clock I was exhausted. I was trying unsuccessfully to unlock the door when Rosalie flung it open.

"Jesus Bella, what's with all the retail therapy?" Rose stepped out of my way as I stumbled inside, dropping my purchases on the foyer floor. My roommates both knew how much I hated shopping. I thought Rose's eyes were going to bug out of her head as she stared at the pile of purchases in front of us.

"I'm going to Wisconsin with Seth tomorrow and I got a little carried away at the mall." Rose's head snapped up and her mouth fell open in surprise. She placed her hands on my shoulders and leaned towards me.

"Excuse me? _Where_ did you just say you're going?"

Her brown eyes twinkled with excitement and I was sure mine mirrored them. I put my hands on her shoulders as well and leaned forward so our foreheads were touching. "Seth invited me to go home for Christmas with him and I said yes! He's picking me up to stay at his place tonight and we leave for Wisconsin tomorrow morning."

A huge grin spread across Rose's face and she let out an Alice-like squeal. She threw her arms around me and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Bella, this is huge! A guy doesn't invite you home for the holidays unless he likes you. Are you going to tell him how you feel? Do you think he'll ask you out on Christmas?" Rose backed away and picked up a few of my bags. "I'm so excited for you! We need to get you packed!"

I grabbed the rest of the bags and followed her to my room. "Slow down, Rose, it's not like I'm marrying the guy."

"No, but he's taking you home to meet his family. That's a pretty big thing, even if you're 'just friends'." Rose made air quotes with her fingers. "Besides that, I don't think Seth has ever brought a girl home. Period. At least that's how Royce made it sound."

I sat on the edge of my bed and thought about this piece of information. If Rose was right, this _would_likely be a big thing for Seth's family. He would tell his family I was coming with, right? He would certainly let them know we were just friends and nothing more, wouldn't he? Was he bringing me with him because he wanted us to be more than friends? If so, was he going to ask me out in Wisconsin? How would I answer? Did I want to risk our friendship?

"I can practically hear you overanalyzing this situation in your head Bella. Stop it right now!" Rose pulled my large suitcase and matching carry-on bag out of my closet and set them on the bed next to me. "You'll ruin your trip before it even gets started if you over think everything."

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and stood up. "You're right. I just need to play it by ear and see what happens." Rose ruffled my hair and nodded in agreement. We got my bags packed and Seth's present wrapped in record time.

"Honey, I'm home!" Alice called out. I heard her footsteps echoing down the hall and a minute later she appeared in my doorway. "What's going on in here?"

"Bella decided to go to Madison with Seth for Christmas and needed some help packing." Rose zipped up my carry on bag and patted it. "He's picking her up at eight."

I thought Alice was going to drop the Starbucks cup in her hand. Luckily she managed to set it down on my computer desk before completely freaking out. "WHAT? Bella, why didn't you call me?" Alice threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. "Did you know about this before I left earlier?"

I shook my head. "I texted him right after you left to tell him I was sticking around campus for the holiday. He called me and insisted I come with him. He didn't leave me much choice."

"Didn't leave you much choice, my ass." Alice placed a hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes at me. "I know you well enough to know you're not afraid to say 'no' when you want."

I blushed and looked down at my sneakers. Rose put her arm around my shoulders and squeezed me in a half-hug. "We should go grab an early dinner before Seth gets here. Alice and I were convinced you would come to the city with us for break, so we planned on exchanging gifts there. It would be nice to do it before you leave."

"That is a _perfect_ idea, Rose!" Alice took her latte and skipped down the hall to her room. Rose winked at me and gave me another hug. I collected the gifts I'd purchased several weeks earlier from my closet and met my roommates in the foyer.

Mr. Bartley's was our favorite place to get a burger in Cambridge. We'd stumbled upon it one drunken night during our freshman year and had been going there regularly ever since. Once we were settled in our usual table, we placed our orders and brought out our gifts.

"I want to go first!" Alice blurted out. She pulled two neatly wrapped packages from the shopping bag sitting next to her and set them in front of Rose and me. "Go ahead, open them."

I slid my finger under the edge of the wrapping and eased it open. My eyes filled with tears when I realized what it was. I spun the canvas around so it was facing upright and ran my fingers over it. My favorite picture of my late Grandma Swan and I was staring back up at me, enlarged to the size of a small poster.

"Alice, how…" my words trailed off as a fresh wave of tears started up. Alice stood and came around to my side of the table, enveloping me in a tight hug.

"I called Renee and asked her to send me the original so I could do this." Alice gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I remembered you showing it to me on Facebook and thought you'd like it for your room."

"I love it, Al. It's beautiful and perfect." I hugged the canvas to my chest and blinked back more tears. Rosalie opened her gift, which consisted of a Chanel clutch and their newest shade of nail polish (anyone who knew Rose knew Chanel was enough to bring her to tears).

Rose passed out her gifts next, handing us each a blank white envelope. Alice and I looked at one another in confusion before opening them together. Inside was a hefty gift certificate to a prestigious Upper East Side day spa (Rose later told us she'd booked us all a joint girl's day), and slips of paper that read "Europe Summer 2004." Rosalie's eyes lit up when she saw that Alice and I still didn't comprehend the gift.

"I'm taking you both to Europe the summer after we graduate!" Rose clapped her hands together and leaned forward excitedly. "I wanted to wait to tell you both but I just couldn't, I'm so excited! I know it's a few years out, but we'll spend the whole summer there and visit all the countries! We'll have an amazing time, just the three of us!"

Alice and I were both beaming like kids in a candy store at this point. I'd barely traveled at all and had dreamed of going to Europe since I was in junior high. I leapt up from my chair and flung my arms around Rosalie's neck. The restaurant patrons around us were eyeing us like we were crazy, but none of us cared at that point. We were too overwhelmed with emotions.

I pulled my gifts out next, feeling like I needed to offer a disclaimer before I let anyone open them. "These are nowhere near as lavish as the ones you two have shared with me, but I sincerely hope you both love them for what they're worth."

"Sweetie, Christmas isn't about how much you spend on a gift. It's the thought and the meaning behind it that counts." Alice reached across the table and squeezed my hand. That gave me just enough confidence to give my two best friends their presents.

I'd gotten both girls the same thing, so it didn't matter which one opened her gift first. Rose tugged the white ribbon off of the Tiffany & Co. box and gently lifted the top. She pulled the small velvet box from inside and looked up at me, batting her eyelashes.

"Why Bella, I never knew you felt this way," she teased, easing the lid open. I nodded to Alice to open hers as well. Both girls pulled out the matching silver rings that were composed of small x's and o's. I reached in my pocket and pulled out my matching ring too, holding it up for them both to see.

"I've never been closer to anyone in my life than I am to the two of you." Tears pricked the back of my eyelids again and I started to choke up. _The __resident __waterworks __is __in __attendance, _I thought to myself. "I'll never regret moving to Cambridge because it brought me to you two."

Both girls slid the rings on to their pinky fingers as I had. We were all three teary eyed messes when the waiter delivered our food.

We chatted about the holidays as we ate, discussing what we hoped to get for gifts and what we were and weren't looking forward to. Alice paid for our meal (a last minute present for Rose and I, she decided) and we arrived at our apartment just as Seth was pulling in.

"Good evening, ladies." Seth winked at me and followed us inside.

I retrieved my bags while Alice and Rose entertained him with friendly conversation. "I just realized I bought everything but a hat and scarf today. Go figure! The one time I travel to the Midwest it's in the dead of winter and I'm not prepared."

Seth chuckled and took my suitcase from me. "Contrary to popular belief, there is civilization in Wisconsin, including clothing stores." Rose stifled a laugh and Alice rolled her eyes. I giggled at his cheesy joke and gave each of my roommates a hug.

"Call us when you get in tomorrow." Rose wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at me and blew me a kiss.

"Don't worry you two, I promise I'll return her in one piece." Seth gave a final wave before closing the door behind us. When we were loaded up and seated in his Nissan, he turned to me with a wide smile.

"I got you a ticket back to New York on the thirtieth," he said cheerfully. "I'm staying in Sconnie until the following Friday, so you'll be on your own flying home."

"Believe me, flying home is the lesser of the two evils when the other option is facing the wrath of Rosalie Smith. She'd have my head if I missed New Years Eve." I lit a cigarette and turned up the radio. The sounds of Pearl Jam's "Last Kiss" flooded the car and I swayed to the music.

I couldn't help but smile at the thought of all the fun we would have – just the two of us – in Wisconsin…

**December 31, 2001 – Monday**

_I really didn't mean to cut my entry off yesterday. Rose and Alice got back without warning and I was quickly swept away for an evening of shopping and catching up. _

_I snuck off to Starbucks in hopes of finishing the tale of my Christmas adventure. I don't have much time since I have to get ready for tonight's party, so I'll spare all the boring travel details and get right to the heart of the matter – my post-Christmas pseudo-relationship conversation with Seth…_

I was worried sick the entire flight that Seth's family wouldn't like me or wouldn't want me invading their Christmas celebration.

It turned out I had absolutely nothing to worry about.

Seth's parents were some of the nicest people I'd ever met. Jared and Emily Anderson welcomed me into their home like I was one of their own children. I helped Emily wrap presents on Christmas Eve, prepared a portion of Christmas dinner, and ended up winning not one, but two rounds of charades – which was unheard of for any house guest prior to my arrival in Madison.

The morning after Christmas, Seth woke me before the sunrise and took me to his favorite breakfast joint. Gabe's was located on a country road just outside of Madison. The place was incredibly small, with a total of three booths and a counter that seated four people. It was decorated with old-fashioned photos of different areas of the state and various trinkets that I guessed were from flea markets or garage sales. Seth boasted that they had the best waffles he'd ever eaten and maple glazed bacon that was to die for.

We weren't even together and this man already knew my weakness for sugar coated pork products.

"Is Wisconsin as bad as you thought it would be?" Seth asked through a mouthful of waffles. I took a gulp of coffee and shook my head, swallowing my bacon before responding.

"I love it! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the hustle and bustle of Boston, but I could definitely get used to this place." I took another giant bite of bacon and chewed it appreciatively, rubbing my stomach and sighing. "For the record, I never thought Wisconsin would be bad. I believe it was Rosalie and Alice who voiced that concern."

Seth spun the straw of his soda back and forth between his thumb and forefinger. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. My parents love you, by the way. I think my mom is practically ready to wed us herself."

My eyes shot up to meet his and I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. I tore at my napkin, scattering pieces of it across the table in front of me. "I think my dad might have some objections about that. Oh, and Renee too. She's been planning my wedding since I was a toddler." I grabbed my coffee and took another sip to stop my nervous babble. I didn't like the direction the conversation was headed in, but there wasn't a whole lot I could do to stop it.

Seth chuckled. "I was just kidding, although I do think she's secretly hoping I'll call her after break and tell her we're together." Seth looked at me again and I couldn't read the expression on his face. "She knows we're just friends. I mean, we are _just__friends_, right?"

I laughed nervously and looked down at my shredded napkin. _Now __is __your __chance __to __tell __him __how __you __feel, __Bella. __Stop __being __a __baby __and __go __for __it. _My subconscious and my heart wanted one thing. My head, which was controlling my mouth, wasn't on the same page, however.

"The last time I checked, yes." I gulped and mustered up my best poker face before meeting his gaze. "We're the best kind of friends – the ones who get piss drunk at Moe's and travel the country together."

"That's for sure." Seth averted his gaze and let out a sigh of what I assumed was relief. "Really Bella, I just don't want _this_," he gestured to the space between us, "to ever change. I'm not saying I'm not attracted to you, but we have such a good thing, I wouldn't want to do anything to risk losing it."

His words stung. I'd heard this excuse before on more than one occasion. The few times I'd actually tried making a pass at my high school crushes, they always ended up using the friend card and trying to make the blow a gentle one. What I felt for Seth went far beyond what I'd ever felt for a high school crush, however, and this blow felt more like a stab directly to my chest.

I didn't know how to respond without giving myself away, so I decided to go along with his thought. "You're completely right. Our friendship is too important to risk it for something as trivial as a relationship." Now it was Seth's turn to look like I'd stabbed him.

"I didn't mean it that way, I just…" His words trailed off and he ran his fingers through his hair nervously. "Never mind, just forget I said anything. Are you ready to go?" He grabbed the check and stood up before I had a chance to answer. I nodded and slid into my coat, following him to the cash register and then out into cold Wisconsin morning.

"What do you want to do today?" Seth grabbed my hand and swung it in the air. He did this quite often and I'd never objected before. Today I had to resist the urge to turn to him and yell, _"__Why __do __you __think __people __are __convinced __we__'__re __a __couple? __Look __at __what __you__'__re __doing __right __now!__"_

"I'm game for anything," I lied. What I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die.

Seth started the truck and pointed us in the direction of the city. The sun was starting to come up on the horizon, casting a beautiful amber glow across the snow-covered fields. This had the potential to be a nice, romantic moment. Instead it felt forced and incredibly awkward.

"There's this party tonight I was hoping we could go to." Seth glanced over at me nervously before continuing. "Some of my buddies from high school will be there and it would be nice to see them."

I shrugged. "Sure, whatever you want to do."

The party was a bust.

Seth didn't bother telling me his high school sweetheart would be there. He also didn't bother telling me his high school sweetheart happened to be the same girl he'd "broken up with" over the summer. I watched them get drunk and hang on one another before retreating to what I assumed was bedroom in the upstairs half of the house we were at. A few of the guys there tried hitting on me, but mostly I just wanted to be left alone. Royce of all people came to my rescue, driving me back to Seth's parents' place and apologizing to me for his friend's behavior.

Seth himself never apologized for leaving me high and dry and all alone at the party. In fact, he never even bothered to ask how I got home (although I had a sneaking suspicion Royce told him, despite his insistence that they never talked). Heidi (aka aforementioned high school sweetheart) was around the rest of the week. Seth and I didn't have much time alone and really didn't say a whole lot more to one another. I hated how uncomfortable things felt.

When it came time for me to leave, I found myself wishing I'd have gone to Manhattan with Rose and Alice instead.

The drive to the airport was short. Seth and I rode in silence while Heidi filled us in on everything she thought was wrong with Boston and why she refused to follow Seth there. I grabbed my bags and was halfway in the doorway to the ticketing area when he reached me.

"Bella, wait up!" He grabbed my elbow and spun me around to face him. "You weren't going to say goodbye?"

Men could be so dense sometimes.

"Goodbye." I wrestled my arm free and continued my trek into the airport. Before the automatic door closed behind me, I spun around and faced Seth. "Have a nice New Years with _Heidi_."

I didn't bother waiting for his reaction.

_I texted Seth yesterday to tell him I made it home safely. He never responded and I haven't bothered sending anything since. _

_I'm probably being childish about the whole situation. Yes, he gave me the opportunity to tell him how I felt, and yes, I chose to take the safe route and keep my feelings to myself. Does that excuse his behavior at the party? Not one bit. Does it make me hate Heidi any less? Absolutely not. Does that change the fact that he hardly bothered to acknowledge me for the rest of the week? No it doesn't. _

_I need to go meet Alice and Rose at the salon. Everyone knows the world will end if we don't have perfect hair and nails at the masquerade party tonight. Insert sarcasm here_

_One last thing before I forget…_

_**Bella Swan's 2002 New Year's Resolutions**_

_1. Never like a guy again._

* * *

><p><strong>January 24, 2002 – Thursday<strong>

_A new year has arrived, and with it a full load of new classes. _

_2002 also got a new Bella … Well, a new looking Bella anyway. I was pretty pissed at Seth when I got to the salon on New Year's Eve, so I did what any normal, angst-ridden, twenty year old woman would do – I cut my hair and dyed it black. _

_It was cute for the first week. Now I hate it. _

_Speaking of Seth, I saw him for the first time since Christmas on Saturday night. It was awkward, but not unbearable… _

Rose and I walked into Moe's and were immediately greeted by the familiar sounds of eighties rock and laughter. Alice waved at us from the other side of the crowded room and we made our way to her as quickly as we could.

"What took you two so long? We've been here for almost an hour!" Alice had clearly indulged in a few cocktails already. Rose and I ordered our drinks and settled in the booth across from her and Jane.

"Rose couldn't decide how she wanted her hair." I rolled my eyes and laughed. Rose poked my side and glared at me out of the corner of her eye.

"Just because you're off the market doesn't mean the rest of us are." Rose had a point. I'd taken my resolution not to like any men seriously so far. Of course I hadn't had to face Seth yet either, making things all the easier.

Jane stood up and adjusted her skirt. "I'm going to use the restroom. Does anyone else have to go?"

I nodded and grabbed my purse. "I'm going to go now before it gets any crazier in here." I followed Jane through the sea of people and was almost through the restroom door when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella." I barely heard his voice over the music. I turned around and was greeted with a familiar pair of blue eyes. I stepped out of the doorway and he followed me.

"Seth, hi." I didn't know what else to say. I crossed my arms over my chest and watched as he shifted nervously from one foot to the other.

"I've missed you," he blurted out. I swallowed back the lump that had settled in my throat and smiled weakly.

"I've missed you too." He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. His fingertips left a red-hot trail on my cheek.

"I owe you an apology," he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I didn't realize how upset you were after the party until Royce told me. I didn't mean to ditch you there, especially not for Heidi. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Clearly you _weren__'__t_ thinking." I fired back. There was no better time to be honest than the present. "Do you think I enjoyed being left in the middle of a house full of strangers while you ran off and got your freak on with her? I went to Wisconsin for the holidays to spend time with _you_, Seth, and I ended up feeling miserable for the entire tail end of the trip."

"I know, and please believe me when I say I'm sorry. You're one of my best friends, Bella, I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you." He reached out and took my hand in his. "I fucked up, I get that. Please tell me what I need to do to make things right between us again."

I sighed and looked away. I had two options here: I could tell Seth to fuck off and stay mad at him and continue to feel miserable or I could put the past in the past, forgive him, and have my buddy back.

I chose option number two.

I squeezed Seth's hand and pulled him towards me for a hug. "Molten chocolate from Finale has been known to erase my memory in the past," I whispered. He relaxed immediately and chuckled.

"I think that's doable." I pulled back and smiled up at him. I still had to get my feelings for him under control, but I'd figure that out later.

For now, I was just happy to have my friend back.

_Perhaps __I __let __Seth __off __the __hook __a __bit __too __easily, __but __I __didn__'__t __want __to __drag __this __thing __out __any __longer __than __necessary. __Not __talking __to __him __for __almost __two __weeks __felt __more __like __not __talking __to __him __for __two __months, __and __I __couldn__'__t __stand __any__more __silence __between __us._

_I have a meeting with my advisor in twenty minutes to declare my major and discuss classes for next year. I'm a wee bit freaked out, because that means college is almost half over, and it feels like I just got here yesterday, but I'm pretty excited at the same time. _

_Wish me luck! _

**May 2, 2002 – Thursday **

_In classic Bella fashion, I misplaced this thing shortly after my last entry. I never bought a new one because I was positive I'd find this one again, and then after a while I stopped thinking about it. Low and behold today, as I was tearing my room apart looking for my econ book, I pulled my desk away from the wall and voila – there it was! _

_Finals start in a few days and then we're free for the summer. I'm staying in Beantown since we have our own place this year, and I got part-time job lined up at a record shop down on Newbury Street. The most exciting piece of news I have has nothing to with school or Boston, however, but has to do with Seth … _

April 30 started out as a typical Sunday. I slept in for a bit, had breakfast with Rose and Alice, and then headed off to the gym for an afternoon workout. I was in the middle of dragging my tired, smelly ass to the car when my phone buzzed:

**What r u doing tonight?**

I smiled when I saw Seth's number on the screen. I typed up a quick reply before pulling out of the parking lot:

**No plans here. What r u up to?**

Five minutes later my phone rang. I knew who it was before I even answered.

"I'm pretty sure we have ESP because I was just thinking how I wished you'd call me instead of texting."

Seth laughed. "Do you want to get dinner with me tonight?"

"Sure!" I pulled into our parking lot and cut the engine. "Should I meet you at your place?"

"I'll pick you up at six?" He never wasted any time getting to the point. That was just one of the many things I enjoyed about him.

"Sounds good! I'll see you soon!" I jogged inside and jumped in the shower. An hour later my hair and makeup were done and I'd slipped on my favorite yellow sundress. I wandered into the living room and found Rose watching TV.

"Hello hello," she greeted me, scooting over on the sofa so I could sit down too. "Are you going out tonight?"

I nodded. "Seth invited me out for dinner. Where's Alice?"

"She's not back from the city yet." Rose flipped through the channels for a few more minutes before shutting off the TV and turning to face me. "I met with my advisor on Friday."

"How did it go?" Rose had been struggling with declaring a major since the semester started. Her parents were pushing her to go to medical school, and Rose was all for it when she first started college. As time went on, however, she'd started exploring her options, and had recently reached a point where she didn't know what to do.

"Well, I think it went quite well." She twirled a strand of hair around her finger absentmindedly. "I finally declared a major."

The curiosity was killing me. "That's so great! What did you decide to go with?"

Rose took a deep breath and her eyes met mine. "Business administration with a marketing focus." I smiled and gave my best friend a hug.

"I'm so happy for you, Rose!" _Now __for __the __question __that __would __inevitably __sour __the __mood,_ I thought. "Have you told your parents yet?"

She shook her head and stared out the window. "No, not yet. I talked to Bree this afternoon and she thinks it would be best for me to tell them in person after the semester is over."

Rose's parents tended to be somewhat melodramatic, especially her mother. "That's probably a good idea. I think you could handle a potential freak-out better that way too."

There was a loud knock on the front door, signaling the end of our conversation. "Come in!" I hollered. I heard the door open and close and a moment later Seth was in the living room.

"Hey Seth!" Rose stood up and headed for the kitchen. "Enjoy your dinner! Bell, we'll finish our chat when you get home."

"I'm not interrupting anything important am I?" Seth whispered. I led him outside before answering.

"Rose finally declared a major and is concerned about what her parents' reaction will be," I explained. He held the car door open for me and I slid inside, fastening my seatbelt and adjusting my sunglasses.

"I bet she's stressing out, huh?"

"You know it." I turned the radio up a little and was greeted by the sounds of No Doubt's "New." "Her mom is a total control freak. She's going to flip out when she hears this."

We rode the rest of the way to the restaurant in a comfortable silence. As soon as we were seated, Seth started talking.

"I'm really glad we were able to get past everything that happened over winter break," he began, playing with his silverware nervously. "Maybe it's just me, but I almost feel like our friendship got a little bit stronger because of that."

"Or maybe you just wised up and realized it's better to never do anything to make me mad again?" I teased. He chuckled and leaned toward me.

"That too." His gaze held the same intensity as my father's did when he looked at my mother, and I felt my insides melt on the spot. "Do you ever wonder what might have happened if our conversation at Gabe's had gone in the other direction?"

"All the time," I answered honestly. I wasn't sure where he was going with this train of thought, and I didn't want to open myself up to get hurt again, but at this point honesty was the only option I saw for us.

"Me too." He picked my hand up and traced the lines of my palm with his index finger. "Maybe I'm a little too late to the party, and if I am I understand completely, but…" His words trailed off and he looked around the restaurant.

"But…?" I coaxed. His eyes met mine again and he continued.

"I like you, Bella. A lot, actually." He swallowed hard and sucked in a nervous breath. "In all honesty, I've liked you since last spring. I just never had the balls to tell you … until now."

I wasn't sure how to respond. This sounded like the beginning of a speech I'd wanted hear for the past six months, but I didn't want to get my hopes up only to have them shot down again. _Damn __it __all __to __hell_, I thought.

"I like you too, Seth. I probably should have told you back in December, but you sounded so sure about seeing me as nothing but a friend, I didn't know what to do." He smiled and took my hand in his again.

"Are you willing to risk our friendship for something as trivial as this?" he teased, using the same words I had used at Gabe's all those months ago. I laughed and entwined my fingers with his.

"Seth Anderson, are you asking me to go steady?" I joked. The corners of his mouth pulled up into the familiar smile I loved and an adorable blush colored his cheeks.

"I guess I am. Bella Swan, would you do me the extraordinary honor of being my girlfriend?" My stomach flipped with happiness and a smile spread across my face.

"I would love to be your girlfriend, Seth." I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his, closing my eyes and relishing in the feel of a kiss I'd spent half a year dreaming about.

Perhaps this summer wouldn't be so bad after all.

April 30 turned out to be one of the best days of my life.

_So, there you have it – Seth and I are together, just in time for what's sure to be the best summer any of us have ever had in Boston. Although I guess this is technically the first summer I've ever had in Boston … Never mind, technicalities aren't important! _

_I never thought I'd fill all these pages in just one year. Perhaps that's a sign that I should take a break from writing so I can enjoy my summer and make the most of every minute of it? Especially now that I have a significant other to spend it with…_

_I need to close this so I can study for my econ final, otherwise I have no hopes of passing and that would be just plain bad. Plus Seth is coming over in a bit and I'm sure he'll serve as enough of a distraction, if you get my drift. _

_Here's hoping for a summer filled with lots of laughter, time spent with good friends, and maybe even a little love. _

_I'll be back in the fall for junior year – with a new journal to boot! _

_xoxo_

_- B. _


	2. Chapter 2: Edward, Vol 1 Sophomore Year

**A/N: **Happy New Year to all! I hope the year is filled with happiness, love, laughter, success, prosperity, and all other good things!

2012 is here and that means I can officially start to give all of you a glimpse into the mind and past of NYC's toxic bachelor Edward Cullen! :) I'm so excited I'm pretty much jumping out of my chair at this point...

This is the first of Edward's outtakes. I'll be releasing one outtake from him and Bella each month, so the next ones won't come up until February, BUT in the meantime, I hope you all enjoy, and perhaps people will start to soften around the edges just a _wee _bit for our boy. ;)

As always, reviews = love, so don't be afraid to leave some!

xoxo

- N.

Characters belong to SM. Everything else belongs to me.

**HOT COMMODITY: THE EDWARD DIARIES – VOLUME 1, SOPHOMORE YEAR**

**November 18, 1999 - Wednesday**

_I love the sight of New York City in the fall. The brightly colored leaves stand out against the urban backdrop, the air smells of food carts and brewing hot beverages, and everyone has a little extra bounce to their step at the thought of the impending holidays. _

_I used to write so regularly in here, and for good reason. Ever since Jasper and I got to NYU I've been having the time of my life. I've met a lot of new people, formed a small, close-knit group of friends, and had more memorable experiences that I did in the 18 years leading up to college. I never want to forget anything that's happened here so far, for better or for worse, and that's why I document everything. Some day when I'm older I can pull out this journal and my boxes of photographs and share them with my own children, providing them with a glimpse of what their good old dad used to be when he was their age. _

_I've been distracted the past few months, however, and it seems that my writing has taken a backseat to my new … relationship. Yes, you heard me correctly; I'm in a relationship. (Mark the calendar!)_

_I know that nobody sees these words aside from me (and maybe Jasper if he's nosy – Whitlock, if you're reading this, PISS OFF and go back to your Penthouse or Playboy or whatever the hell it is you keep stashed in your night stand), but I feel inexplicably guilty about not writing. On one hand I feel like I've cheated myself out of six months of memories that I can never get back and that, no matter how hard I try, I could never write well enough about now to capture the true essence of the moment. On the other hand I feel like I've hogged this beautiful, amazing woman and cheated myself out of all the words I could have written in regards to how wonderful she is (shut the fuck up, Whitlock, I know I'm whipped!). _

_I guess I should go back to the beginning, which was … May of this year? My, oh my how time flies …_

I grabbed my backpack and rushed out of my dorm, not bothering to lock the door behind me. Jasper would be back any minute now and there wasn't much of anything left for anyone to take. We'd moved most of our belongings into our new apartment already, even though the lease didn't officially start until June first. We were both excited to finish our freshman year and get the hell out of the dorms.

"Cullen! You're late!" Angela looked pissed – really pissed. I gave her my flirtiest smirk but it didn't work. She grabbed the sleeve of my t-shirt and dragged me into our chem lab, slamming the door behind her. The professor – and the rest of the class – looked up at us in annoyance.

"Mr. Cullen, Ms. Weber, it's so nice of you to join us. I'm quite sure all your classmates will be thrilled to learn that your fifteen minute delay will cost them fifteen minutes of time on their final labs." A chorus of groans and several muttered profanities rang out around the room. Angela fixed me with a death glare before turning beet red and sitting down at our lab table. I eased my backpack onto the floor and nudged her ribs with my elbow.

"We're the brains of this class, Weber, don't worry so much," I whispered. She heaved an exasperated sigh and pushed my arm away.

"Edward, please, can you at least try to be serious?" she hissed at me. "I think we've both worked far too hard to keep our grades up in this class to go and blow it on the last day."

"I know, I know." Angela had a point. Even though this course was just a general for me, I needed to keep my GPA up if I wanted to get into Columbia's MBA program when my undergrad was said and done. I quietly turned on the Bunsen burner as Angela began measuring liquids out in the various beakers spread out on our table. I glanced at the clock, willing the time to move faster. This was the last final of my freshman year and I couldn't wait to meet the guys at Emmett's to celebrate the beginning of summer.

Forty minutes later we conquered our final experiment, got a perfect score, and I was officially done with my first year of college.

"Well done, Cullen." Angela gave me an awkward, one armed hug and patted my back. "Perhaps I'll see you in organic chem this fall?"

I laughed and shook my head. "You're destined for greatness in the world of neurosurgery Ang. I'm destined for corporate America. I see no more science courses in my future."

"Thanks for entertaining me this semester. You weren't such a bad lab partner." She wiggled her eyebrows teasingly. "When you weren't busy irritating the piss out of me, that is."

I squeezed her shoulder gently and patted the top of her head. "Enjoy your summer Ang. Give me a call sometime, maybe you can bring that boyfriend of yours over to watch the Yankees with me and Jazz."

Angela's eyes lit up and a smile spread across her face. "Absolutely! Ben would love that." I turned and headed down the hall, dialing Jasper's number and dodging the other students trying to escape the confines of the science building.

"Edward! Where are you man?" Jasper sounded like he already had a few beers in his system. _Damnit, I don't want everyone to start without me!_

"I just walked out of my last final. I should be there in ten minutes."

"The beer is flowing already my friend! Get your ass over here, it's time to celebrate!" He hung up before I had a chance to respond. I jogged up the street and down the stairs that led me to the subway platform. One short ride on the N line and I was in SoHo.

I ran off the train and up the stairs towards the street. I was so excited and in such a hurry that I didn't see the small woman who walked in front of me until it was too late. I ran into her and we both collapsed onto the stairs in a tangle of limbs and bags.

"Jesus, you should really watch where you're going!" She glared at me and pulled down on the bottom of her dress.

I stood up and offered her my hand. She sat stubbornly for a minute or so before reluctantly taking my hand and standing up herself. I bent down and collected her shopping bags, handing them to her in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, really." I ran a hand through my hair nervously and looked at her. She short, probably no taller than 5'2" or 5'3" I would guess, and slender with wavy, chin length caramel colored hair and round hazel eyes. Her cheeks were flushed pink with irritation and her right stocking was ripped from where she'd collided with the pavement.

"You should be," she huffed. "Honestly, there's how many million people sharing these streets and subway systems every day. I would hope you'd realize you're not the only one trying to get somewhere."

I chuckled at her frustration. "Are you a Manhattan native?"

She looked taken aback. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, not to say it wasn't rude of me to maul you over, because clearly it was, but shit like that happens every day here." I shrugged and smiled at her. "Getting knocked over on the subway stairs should probably be the least of your worries. Just wait until someone tries to pee on you."

She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, and then closed it quickly. Her expression softened and I could swear I saw a hint of amusement lingering in her eyes.

"I'm Edward, by the way. Edward Cullen." I stuck my hand out and she shook it promptly.

"Jessica Stanley, New York City transplant." She sighed in exasperation. "You wouldn't happen to know of anywhere close by to get a good stiff drink would you?"

"As it just so happens I'm on my way to meet some friends for drinks right now. Would you care to join us?" She thought about it for a moment before smiling at me and nodding.

"Sure! I have a few hours to waste until my roommate gets in from back home." She shifted awkwardly, trying to balance the bags in her hands. My manners kicked in and I reached out and took several of the bags from her.

She followed me up the stairs and down the street, to where my friends – and a few good men named Jack, Johnny, and Jim – were waiting.

_I feel like a total heel going back and writing about this now, because it sounds like something you'd see in a fucking romance movie. But in all honesty, that's how we met. Of course I never thought I'd be the one to end up with her, especially that first night because Jasper was all over her the minute we walked in Emmett's. A few days later we saw one another again, though. Much to my surprise, she decided to go for it…_

I slept in all week, enjoying the feeling of complete irresponsibility mixed with laziness. My Type A personality could only take so much of this behavior, however, and so on Saturday I got up early, went for a run, and unpacked and organized everything in our new apartment. I was starving by the time I got done so I decided to clean up and go down to the corner Chinese joint to grab some take out dinner.

"Fancy seeing you here." I recognized her voice before I turned around to look at her.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite NYC transplant. This is twice in one week, Ms. Stanley, I feel very special." She blushed and focused her attention on her flip-flops. "What brings you to Cho's?"

"My roommate is on a date and I'm too lazy to cook anything," she said matter-of-factly. "How about you? Shouldn't you be out capitalizing on the Manhattan nightlife or something?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm actually a nerdy homebody. I just got done unpacking the new apartment and was feeling a bit lazy myself as a result."

"How are you and Jasper liking your new place?" Her eyes scanned the take out menu in her hands as she waited for my answer.

"He's been away at his parents all week, but I think it's great! The location is perfect, the place is decent sized, and it's a hell of a lot better than being cooped up in those damn dorms." I grabbed a take out menu for myself and started leafing through it, even though I already knew what I wanted.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?" Her words came out in a jumbled, awkward blurt. Her cheeks flushed crimson and she couldn't look me in the eye. "I mean, since we're both here already, it might be nicer than being stuck home alone on a Saturday night."

I set the takeout menu down on the counter and gave her a reassuring smile. It was nice to know I wasn't the only one feeling anxious about our encounter. "I would love to have dinner with you." I flagged down the host and he led us to a table at the back of the restaurant. A waiter came almost immediately to take our orders.

"So, you must be a NYC native?" Jessica grabbed an edamame from our appetizer dish and popped it into her mouth.

"Guilty as charged. I grew up in Brooklyn." I took a sip of my soda and leaned back in my chair. "What gave it away?"

"I don't know how to explain it really, you're just … You're so _New York_." She emphasized the end of the sentence like it was a bad thing.

"I'm not sure whether to take offense or feel honored by that statement," I teased. She blushed again and played with her napkin.

"I just mean you look the part and you act the part and you can tell you've got years of experience here. I mean, c'mon, you picked up on the fact that I was the new girl in town without even knowing me for twenty minutes."

The waiter brought our entrees and refilled our drinks. I thanked him before continuing the conversation. "Look the part, eh? Whatever do you mean by that?"

She chewed her lo mein thoughtfully, clearly trying to figure out how to express her thoughts. "Don't take this the wrong way, but look at you. You came down here just to get take out and you're dressed like you stepped off the pages of GQ. You've got designer everything, you walk with your head held high, you're straightforward, and you're so confident it's borderline cocky. I'd say that qualifies as looking the part."

I raised an eyebrow and pointed my chopsticks at her. "You're pretty good at this for being a transplant. Speaking of which, how long ago did you move here?"

"My roommate Lauren and I just got here last week."

"And where did you move here from, if I may ask?" I can't believe I didn't find this out at Emmett's the first night we met. _You didn't have a chance idiot; Jasper was too busy trying to get into her pants._

"I grew up outside of San Francisco." Her eyes lit up at the mention of her hometown. "This was a huge step for me, being so far away from my family and submerged into the city's culture. But, here I am – surviving _and_ managing to meet some great people."

"I've always wanted to visit San Fran. I had a cousin who went to school there, but I never got a chance to go see her." Our conversation continued to flow freely, each of us asking the other questions and getting to know one another better. By the end of dinner I knew that Jessica was the oldest of three siblings, was on the cheerleading squad in high school, and had decided to take a year off to travel in Europe before coming to NYU. Her parents were fairly well off; her dad was an architect and her mom was a dentist. Jessica's roommate, Lauren, had been her best friend since kindergarten, and there wasn't a monumental experience the two hadn't shared. She also confessed that she was scared shitless to move to the East coast, but after being here for a week she was starting to realize it wasn't so bad after all.

I told her about my past as well. She was shocked, and self-admittedly envious, by the fact that I grew up as an only child. Jasper and I were attached at the hip from the time we were toddlers, so I'd always considered him a brother, and our families treated us as if we were. I told her about spending summers in the Hamptons (she made me promise I'd take her out to the beach house sometime before classes stared again) and the many different family trips we took to places around the globe. She seemed genuinely excited to hear about my parent's business, even though it was something that bored me to death most of the time. And she seemed a bit stunned by the fact that I'd only had one serious girlfriend in my life, back in junior year of high school, for a whole six months.

The waiter brought our check and I handed him my credit card before she could say anything. "My treat," I told her. She didn't protest, simply smiled shyly at me and nodded her head. I felt like I'd known her for years, even though we'd only spent a short amount of time together and our conversation wasn't particularly deep. _Don't worry, there will be time for that in the future_, my subconscious reminded me. And for some odd reason, I understood that was the truth.

"Thank you for dinner, Edward." We were standing on the steps of her apartment building. She was kind enough to let me walk her home. "It was so nice getting to talk to you. For the record, you're nothing like I thought you would be when I first saw you in the subway that day."

"Well, for the record Jessica, you are unlike any NYC transplant I've ever met." I reached out and gave her elbow a friendly squeeze. "I think you're going to do just fine here in the Big Apple."

"That's nice to hear coming from a seasoned veteran," she teased. She glanced down at her watch and back up at me. "I should probably get inside. I don't want to keep you standing out here all night, I'm sure you've got plenty of things still left to do in your new pad."

I took a step forward and ran my fingertips across her cheek. "Can I see you again, Jessica?" My voice came out in a throaty whisper. She bit her lip nervously before giving me a small smile.

"I think that could be arranged – under one condition, of course."

"What condition is that?" I asked curiously. She took a step towards me and cupped my neck with her hand.

"Kiss me."

That was all I needed to hear. I bent down and pressed my lips against hers. I placed my hand on the small of her back, gently pulling her closer to me and deepening our kiss. Her lips tugged on my bottom one when we pulled away, leaving me wanting more.

"How about Monday night at seven?" I couldn't wait to see this woman again.

"Monday is perfect." She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek before turning towards her building.

"Goodnight, Jessica. Until we meet again…" I did an elaborate curtsey and puckered my lips at her. She blew me a kiss and danced into the foyer of the building.

As I started my walk home, I couldn't help but think of just how lucky I was to have been in the right subway at the right time yesterday.

I had nothing but good feelings surrounding Jessica and I. I knew in my heart that she was going to be a keeper.

_Just like that our relationship blossomed. Two weeks after that dinner I asked her to formally be my girlfriend. Three weeks after that we slept together for the first time and ever since we've been virtually inseparable. _

_We've spent the past five and a half months together, getting to know one another, laughing together, growing together, and getting closer to one another. Of course we've had our disagreements, but I've never been in such an easygoing relationship as this one. I probably just jinxed myself by saying that, but honestly … It's perfect. _

_I'm not ready to speak these words yet, but I think I'm in love with her. According to Jasper I'm showing all the classic symptoms – eagerness to please, a constant state of euphoria, endless babbling about anything and everything pertaining to her, and hinting at plans for the two of us in the future. _

_Ah, shit. Whitlock just got home and I'm pretty sure I'll catch hell for weeks if he sees me writing in an actual journal. More updates to come later and hopefully they'll be more frequent too!_

* * *

><p><strong>January 12, 2000 – Wednesday<strong>

_I finally told Jessica I loved her. I had it all planned out so it would be this perfect event, but of course I had to go and fuck that up. In the end though, it was still perfect…_

It felt like a marching band had taken up residence in my head when I woke up on New Years Day. I rubbed my temples and attempted to open my eyes, but the sunlight glaring through my window did nothing but intensify the pain. I groaned and rolled over, draping my arm across Jessica, who was sound asleep next to me.

"What's the matter?" she mumbled sleepily. She slid her arm over my waist and grabbed a fistful of my pajama pants.

"My head. Need Advil." I couldn't even form a coherent sentence. _That's what you get for trying to go shot for shot with Peter_, my subconscious remarked snidely. Jessica blinked her eyes open and rolled on to her back, stretching her arms over her head.

"You are so lucky you have such a nice girlfriend, Edward." She grabbed a clean pair of my boxers out of the dresser, slipped them on and wandered into the kitchen. She returned a moment later with a glass of water and two Advil. I sat up slowly and took the pills from her, popping them in my mouth and chugging the entire glass of water. My mouth still felt dry. I hadn't realized just how thirsty I was.

"Thank you." I leaned over and gave her a chaste kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"You're welcome." She leaned her forehead against mine, causing me to wince in pain. She planted small, soft kisses on each of my eyelids before jumping up out of bed. "I'm going to make breakfast. Any requests?"

"I'll eat anything that _doesn't_ make my head explode." She shook her head in amusement and walked back to the kitchen. I stood up as slowly as I could and headed for the shower. I adjusted the water temperature and climbed in, enjoying how the warm droplets relaxed my muscles. I showered, shaved, and brushed my teeth before meandering back to my room to get dressed.

I was in the middle of picking out a shirt when it dawned on me – I hadn't told Jessica I loved her at Midnight. I slapped my palm against my forehead, sending bolts of pain across my temples and around to the back of my head. I sat down on the edge of my bed and starred at my closet. How could I have possibly forgotten to tell her? I'd planned the whole display out weeks ago. _Because you decided to start drinking at seven and weren't coherent by the time midnight rolled around, _my subconscious lectured. I flopped backwards on the bed and threw an arm over my eyes.

I fucked up, big time, although it didn't seem like Jessica noticed or minded for that matter. _Of course she doesn't notice moron, she didn't know it was coming. _She seemed cheerful as ever, which was a relief given the fact that she probably got stuck babysitting me and escorting me home last night.

"Soup's on." I opened one eye and saw her standing in the doorway of my room, arms crossed over her chest and head cocked to the side. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing at all, I'm just tired." I pulled on my shirt and crossed the room, enveloping her in my arms. She stood on her toes and kissed the tip of my nose. I followed her to the kitchen, where a plate of pancakes, French Toast, eggs, sausage, and bacon all sat on the breakfast bar.

"Something smells delish out here." Jasper trudged out of his room wearing nothing but his boxers. He grabbed a plate, loaded it with food, and took a seat at the kitchen table.

I followed suit, sitting across from him. "Is it too much to ask for you to wear real clothes when we're eating?" He laughed and stuffed a piece of bacon in his mouth.

"I'm guessing he lost his real clothes somewhere between the frat house and the apartment." Jessica smiled smugly and looked over at me. "I'm surprised we got you back here in one piece last night. Both of you were ridiculous."

I acted appalled. "_Me_, ridiculous? That could _never_ happen!"

She stole a sausage off my plate. "Oh, trust me, it can, and it did last night. You were walking through Washington Square Park barefoot singing half the songs off the Rent soundtrack at the top of your lungs – off key, might I add." Her head tipped back and she laughed. "Thank god Emmett showed up right before you face planted because there's no way I could have gotten you up here myself."

Emmett was there? I face planted? I didn't remember any of it.

"You know, if someone didn't make me listen to the CD from that musical repetitively I would probably have a couple more options for my drunken performances," I teased. She smiled and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"C'mon, c'mon, none of that affectionate crap at the table! I'm trying to eat here," Jasper groaned. He polished off his orange juice and the last few bites of eggs. "Hale had to come to your rescue, huh? That SOB has to hate us by now."

Jessica shook her head. "Actually, he was quite pleasant about the whole ordeal. He even offered to stick around and make sure nothing happened after we got both of you put to bed."

"Of course he offered to stick around Jess, the guy practically salivates every time he sees you. He probably thought he'd have a good chance of getting in your pants."

"Edward, you're ridiculous!" She stood up and started clearing the table. "Emmett is nothing more than a good friend – to _all _of us. Besides, he's totally got the hots for Lauren."

"Lauren my ass," I muttered under my breath. She grabbed my chin with her hand and turned my head to face her.

"Stop pouting, Edward Cullen. It doesn't look good on you." She leaned down and pressed her lips against mine. I heard the sound of Jasper's chair sliding across the linoleum and he sighed in disgust before going back to his room. As the kiss deepened, I grabbed Jess around the waist and pulled her down into my lap. She smiled against my lips and pulled at my hair.

"I love you, Jessica Stanley." She pulled back abruptly, turning so she was straddling me, and cupped my face in her palms. Green eyes met hazel ones and a ridiculous grin spread across her face.

"I love you too, Edward Cullen." She pulled my face to her and kissed me again. I stood up, carrying her to my bedroom and kicking the door shut behind us.

It wasn't the fairytale I had planned, but it was perfect none-the-less.

_We stayed in bed for the rest of the day. I can't even count the number of times we each said those three words to one another. It was like we couldn't get enough of hearing them. _

_Now classes are in session and we don't see each other as much as we did over break, but every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to bed, I'm greeted with a text message that contains three simple words: _

_I love you._

* * *

><p><strong>March 22, 2000 – Wednesday <strong>

_I really don't intentionally try to write on Wednesdays. It just happens this way. _

_Right now I'm lounging in a poolside cabana at a resort in Punta Cana. Jess is off with Lauren getting a massage and Jasper and Emmett are at the bar. We've been here since Saturday afternoon, and sadly we only have two more nights until spring break ends and we have to return to reality. _

_Every relationship comes with some unspoken rights of passage. First kiss, first "I love you," first time in the sack … and the inevitable first fight. Jess and I had successfully made it through the first three rights of passage in our first seven months together. I knew things could only go smoothly for so long, and sure enough, the night before we left for the Dominican we marched right into the open arms of right of passage number four – our first full-blown fight._

_It was me that sparked the argument (of course), Jess that took it to the next level (of course), and Jasper who tried (unsuccessfully) to play the peacemaker towards the end of the whole ordeal. Looking back it was so stupid, but at the time I didn't want to let the topic go…_

I stood in the middle of my room ticking off travel items on my fingers. _Shampoo? _Check. _Razor? _Check. _Swim Trunks? _Check. _Passport? _Check. I had gone through my bags about three times already and I was sure I had everything.

"Edward, will you relax already." Jess called from the bathroom. I smiled. She didn't even have to see me and she knew exactly what I was doing. We were definitely on the same wavelength. "I'm sure you've packed everything you could possibly need and in the event that you do forget something, the resort probably sells it."

I took a deep breath and zipped my bags shut. I carried them out into the living room and set them by the door. We wouldn't even be leaving for the airport for another 18 hours, but I found it was better to be over prepared than scrambling at the last minute.

"Lauren and I are going to go swimsuit shopping," Jess came out of my bedroom carrying her purse and keys. "Do you need me to pick anything up while I'm out?"

I placed my hands on her hips and leaned in to give her a kiss. She ran her fingertips over my cheek and smiled lovingly up at me. "Swimsuit shopping, eh? Just bring yourself back with a cute little number to model for me and I'll be a happy man."

She punched my chest lightly and shook her head. "You're so terrible." She gave me one last kiss on the cheek before leaving me alone in the apartment. I flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV, flipping through the channels aimlessly until I found a Discovery Health special that interested me. I dozed off within the first ten minutes.

"Edward, man, wake up! You're drooling all over my blanket!" I blinked my eyes sleepily and felt Jasper shaking my shoulders. I was lying on the couch, the TV was still on, and sure enough there was drool pooled up where my head had been. Jasper pulled the blanket out from under me and stalked back to his bedroom, mumbling something about horrible bedside manners on his way. I looked at the clock above the TV. It was almost eight and Jess still wasn't back. I was heading into my room to find my phone and call her when she came through the door.

"Hey!" Her hands were filled with shopping bags, and I grabbed a few to help her out. She shuffled in my room, dropping the bags on the floor and running into the bathroom.

"It's no wonder you were gone so long, you single handedly bought half of Manhattan." I was trying to be funny but there was an underlying hint of irritation in my tone. Lauren was known for her high buck shopping trips. Jessica usually kept her head on her shoulders, but any time she went somewhere with Lauren, all common sense flew out the window.

"Oh calm down crabby ass. You're going to love what I got!" She stepped out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a flimsy string bikini. The bottom left little to the imagination and the two triangles that composed the top barely covered her breasts.

"What is _that_?" Now my voice was filled with irritation. She smiled uneasily and sauntered towards me, straddling me on the edge of the bed.

"It's my bikini for Punta Cana, silly," She tried to rub her scantily clad body against me but I pushed her away angrily.

"You can't possibly tell me you plan on wearing that on a beach in public on our vacation?"

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared angrily at me. "Actually that's exactly what I plan on doing. Is there a problem with that?"

I sunk my fingers into my hair and pulled at is. "Is there a problem? Well now, let's think about that for a minute, shall we? My girlfriend – _my _girlfriend – plans on wandering around exposing herself to a beach full of horny college guys for a week. I sure as hell think that's a problem!"

She put her hands on her hips in a gesture of defiance. "I might be _your _girlfriend Edward, but the last time I checked this," she waved her hands up and down the length of her figure, "was _my_ body. I'll wear whatever the hell I want to, I don't need _your _permission to do anything."

"There's no way in hell you're leaving our room dressed like that," I spit out. Her cheeks turned crimson and her eyes flashed with anger.

"What do you think I am, some piece of property? You don't own me Edward, you don't get to tell me what I fucking can and can't do." She stomped into the bathroom and came back out in her street clothes.

"Last time I checked we were in this thing called a 'relationship,' Jessica. In other words, you don't get to think only about yourself anymore."

She stalked across the room and jabbed my chest with her index finger. "Oh really, Edward? Well, you could have fooled me! I don't think a day has gone by in this relationship that you haven't been entirely fixated on yourself!" She fixed me with a dirty glare. "_I _couldn't enjoy New Years eve because _you _just had to get wasted with Peter. _I _couldn't study for finals last fall because _you _just had to have someone go to the Nicks games with you. And now _I _can't even enjoy a cute swimsuit I bought because _you _are too filled with insecurities to give me your trust! It's _always _about you, Edward."

Jasper poked his head through the doorway cautiously before walking a few steps into the room. "Hey, what's going on in here? You guys are causing quite the commotion."

"What's going on in here is that Jessica thinks she should walk around dressed like a trollop on our vacation and I am expected to just sit back and smile and let it happen." I balled my hands into fists at my side as anger channeled through me.

Jessica started grabbing her shopping bags off the floor. "Actually Jasper, what's going on is that I am leaving and Edward can have the room to himself on the trip. I'm sure Lauren wouldn't mind if I stayed with her and Emmett."

"Maybe Lauren should put on a flimsy excuse for a bathing suit too and you guys can have your very own trollop parade on the beach." Jessica's jaw dropped but no words left her mouth. She stared wordlessly at me for a minute before walking out of the apartment and slamming the door behind her.

"Fuck you Edward!" I heard her yell in the hall. I turned to face the front door and flipped both my middle fingers in the air. A minute later I slunk down on the couch and rested my head in my hands.

"That was not good, my friend. Not good at all." Jasper sat down next to me and patted my shoulder. I shrugged his hand off and stormed into my room, slamming the door behind me. I showered and got in bed, half expecting Jess to be there when I woke up the next morning.

I was still alone when I opened my eyes.

I checked my cell and there were no missed calls or texts. I asked Jasper if he'd heard anything and he said no. I texted Emmett but didn't get a response and both Jessica and Lauren's phones were shut off. I would have to wait until we got the airport to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Aren't you nervous, man?" Jasper and I were seated in the back of a taxi on our way to JFK.

I was going through my mental checklist of what I needed. _Boarding pass? _Check. _Credit cards? _Check. _Cash? _Check.

"Hello? Earth to Edward? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" Jasper snapped his fingers in front of my face.

"I'm not nervous at all," I lied. "It was just a disagreement. I'm sure once we're on the plane everything will work itself out and our trip can continue as originally planned."

Boy was I wrong.

When I boarded I found Emmett sitting in the first class seat next to me. Jessica was planted next to Lauren a few rows back in coach. She didn't even look at me.

"Dude, I don't know what you did, but it must be pretty bad for her to want to sit back there." Emmett stretched his legs out and adjusted the travel pillow behind his head. "No offense to Lauren or anything, but I'm not complaining."

I twisted around in my seat and starred at Jess. Her eyes met mine briefly and I saw nothing but anger and hurt nestled in them. I turned back around and closed my eyes. I drifted off to sleep, dreaming about Jess running off with another guy while I spent the week drunk and sulking in my room.

I couldn't let that happen.

Four and a half hours later I awoke with a start. We'd just landed and both Emmett and Jasper were standing up and stretching. I pulled Jasper to the side and told him my plans before bolting off the plane and to the hotel shuttle.

I checked into the room and set off for one of the many stores at our resort. I didn't have much time and I needed to make this perfect. I purchased what I was searching for and headed up the elevators to the fifth floor where our ocean view suite was. The view was breathtaking and I knew Jess would love it. _If she gets over this spat,_ I thought sadly. The bellman arrived about twenty minutes later with our luggage and I tipped him generously. Once everything was in place, I put our bags in the bedroom and took a seat on the couch.

"Edward?" I heard her voice on the other side of the door. She knocked loudly several times. "I need to get my bags."

I took a deep breath, dimmed the lights, and eased the door open. She pushed past me and came to an abrupt stop.

"Edward…" her voice trailed off and she covered her mouth with her hands as she took in the sight. I'd spelled out the words 'I'm Sorry' in tea light candles in the center of the floor. Rose petals were scattered around the candles and a box containing a dozen long-stemmed red ones sat opened on the couch.

I closed the door and slipped my arms around her waist, pulling her into me so her back was flush with my chest. I rested my chin on her shoulder and inhaled her scent. She smelled like tropical oils mixed with a faint hint of rum. "I'm sorry I was such an asshole yesterday," I whispered.

She turned her head and looked at me out of the corner of her eye. "I'm sorry too, Edward." She turned around and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I've never seen you jealous before and I didn't know how to handle it."

I nuzzled my nose against her neck and smirked. "I overreacted. It's just…" I leaned back and looked into her eyes, struggling to find the words to express what was going on in my head. "I've never felt this way about someone before, Jessica. I've never loved someone as much as I love you. You could walk around in a ratty old sheet for all I cared, as long as you're happy. I just don't wan to think about sharing you with others, even if it's just having them ogle you on the beach. I guess that's the selfish part of me coming out. The last 24 hours have been gut wrenching. Thinking I might lose you … It almost killed me."

"Shhh Edward, you won't lose me. I've never felt this way about anyone either," she whispered. She leaned up until her lips were almost brushing mine. "For the record, they can look all they want, but I belong to you – entirely." She closed the gap between us and kissed me softly. She walked backwards and I followed, and together we fell on the sofa. I slipped her sundress up over her shoulders and she made quick work of my t-shirt. I peppered kisses over her shoulders, chest, and stomach. Even though her skin felt like it was on fire beneath my fingertips and I ached to be one with her, we took things slowly, savoring every minute with each other.

We made love on the couch and missed dinner with our friends, but neither of us cared. When we finally got ready and met them at the bar later, we were both glowing, dressed in love and on top of the world.

As much as it scared me to admit, I couldn't imagine my life without this woman in it.

Jessica Stanley was my forever.

_The rest of our week has been amazing. We've had no more fights, there've been no more tears and no frowns – We've just been two lovers spending time with our friends and enjoying every minute of it. _

_Oh, maybe it would be beneficial to point out that I trust Emmett one hundred and ten percent now. I met him and Jasper for beers after the NYE incident and it turns out he really was pining after Lauren the whole time. Funny how these things work, huh? _

_It's time for me to head back to the room and back to my forever._

* * *

><p><strong>May 31, 2000 – Wednesday<strong>

_Well, here I am, finished with my sophomore year of college. Time is going by so fast, but damn are the memories I'm making ones that I'll cherish forever. _

_Next semester I start the classes for my major. After careful consideration I've decided to do the Stern business program with an emphasis in finance. I've always had a knack for numbers, even as a kid my dad used to have me help him with the books for the smaller hotels. It's a subject I enjoy and I know I'll excel at it. _

_Jess is embarking on a path all her own, working on journalism major with minors in art and marketing. She's quite ambitious and that's just one of the many things I love about her. She still doesn't know what she wants to be when she "grows up," but I don't doubt that whatever she chooses she'll be amazing at. _

_We had our first discussion about the future a couple nights ago…_

I dropped my backpack on the floor and flopped down on the couch. Finals killed me but they were done now. I was exhausted and I drifted off into a light slumber.

"Wake up, sleepyhead!" A warm pair of lips pressed against my temple and I felt the weight of a body on top of mine. I opened my eyes and saw Jessica's beautiful face staring back at me. She intertwined my fingers with hers and laid her head on my chest.

"What a nice surprise," I murmured into her hair.

She sighed contentedly and gazed up at me through her long lashes. "I'm so glad school is over. I don't want to have to think about anything at all this summer, I just want to have fun."

"What kind of fun are you thinking of?" I wiggled my eyebrows at her shamelessly. She sat up so she was between my legs and slapped my chest playfully. I sat up too and pulled her close to me.

"You're such a perv, Cullen."

"Guilty as charged." I ran my fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. "Seriously though, is there anything you have in mind for the break? We should plan a road trip or something like that. I'm sure Jasper and the gang would be up for it."

"We should totally go to Vegas!" She beamed at me and my insides felt like they were melting.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. "Have you and Lauren figured out where you're going to stay next year? I know the dorms are out of the question."

She hugged her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them. "Lauren's parents are talking about getting her a place in Midtown. She told me I could stay with her, but they won't take any rent money from me and I don't want to mooch off them, even though I know they don't see it like that."

I took a swig of my soda and the wheels in my head started turning. Our one-year anniversary was in a few weeks and it had been smooth sailing since spring break. She was here more often than she was not, Jasper didn't mind her presence, and she already had her own key to the place. If our relationship was going to move forward this was the next logical step.

I cleared my throat nervously. "Have you ever thought about moving in here?" She blinked several times in shock.

"No, not really. I mean it's not that I would mind it or anything, I guess I just didn't think you were quite ready for me to be a full-time fixture around here."

I pulled out one of the dining room chairs and positioned it so I was sitting directly in front of her. "You're here practically every night already, Jess. There's more than enough room here for your stuff and I'm sure Jasper wouldn't complain if the rent was split three ways instead of two." I cupped her face in my hands and rested my forehead against hers. "Move in with me? Please?"

A few tears brimmed her eyes and she brushed them away quickly. She smiled and grabbed my wrists with her hands. "Okay. I'll do it."

My chest filled with an emotion I'd never felt before. It radiated outwards from somewhere deep inside me. I stood up and she stood up too. I picked her up in a tight embrace, spinning her around in the middle of the living room.

"I have to call Lauren and tell her!" She ran to the kitchen and grabbed her cell phone off the breakfast bar. I could hear her excited voice as she told her best friend all about our plans. I'd have to tell Jasper too, but that could wait until he came home later.

Forty-five minutes later she emerged from the bedroom, still beaming. She sat Indian style on the opposite side of the couch. "When is your lease up here?"

I thought about it for a minute. "The end of November I think. We only signed a six month one this time around in case we found something better."

She blushed and chewed on one of her fingernails. "Maybe we can get our own place then. You know, just the two of us." She smiled shyly, waiting for my response.

"I would love that." I couldn't help but wonder what her intentions were when graduation finally arrived. "Does this mean you're planning on staying in Manhattan after you graduate?"

"It's a long way off still, but yes, that was my hope." She picked at a piece of lint on one of the sofa cushions. "The school has a lot of good connections with papers around here. I was planning on getting an internship and seeing where that takes me."

"We're on the same page then, thank god." I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "I'm Columbia bound when I finish here. The sooner I get my MBA the better, or at least that's what my dad always tells me."

She crawled across the couch and lay against me. "Are we planning our future here, Mr. Cullen?"

"I do believe we are, Ms. Stanley." I kissed her cheek and hugged her close to me.

The future never looked so good.

_She's moving in next week. Jasper was okay with it, thank god, although he didn't really seem thrilled at the prospect of living on his own in six months. He was a good sport though and agreed with me that taking things to the next level was the right thing to do. _

_I don't think I'll have much time to write in here this summer. We're headed to Vegas in July, just like Jess wanted, and my parents offered up their Hamptons house for weekends in August. As much as I'd like to log all those memories, the fact is that I'd much rather live those memories and do it to the fullest extent possible. _

_So, here's to a memorable summer and a promising future. _

_See you in the fall_

**A/N: **I thought it would be nice of me to explain that there won't be any lemons in these outtakes. It didn't feel right for me to write any with the characters that are paired up. :)

Look at that ... Edward used to have a soul! ;) Well, he still does ... it's just in hiding right now.

xoxo


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